 order - home - shows An Anthropological Inquest Regarding 'H. Funerotis,' by Prof. Gilmore Krech, Buttskatonic University 
Though it is true that modern scientific thought is strict in its theory of a common ancestor for human life, I put it forth to you, dear reader, that this is an act of mercy and not intellectual superciliousness. There is a troubling truth science denies that has never been spoke of in any journals or mentioned in any thesis.There is, and always has been, a strange 'subspecies.' They are humanoid, but they do not share our genetic grandfather; rather, I have traced them back to a strange fungus that dwelt only where natural light does not reach, seemingly the result of a deficient amobea absorbing alien protein strands when the earth was in its infancy. These creatures do not share the same spark of the divine as you and I, but exist in states of extreme sloth, constant and pungent flatulence, and a nigh-constant state of inebriation, the result of their brains fermenting inside their skulls. The dissection of subjects, though unpleasant, has taught me much. Possessing useless and atrophied genitals, their only method of procreation is inseminating healthy host brains with a fungus-spore parasite,  carried across the air on high-charged, discordant vibrations of sound. Already have they saturated the Pacific Northwest. This bucolic landscape, once called 'God's Country,' is now host to a caligulean saturnalia of sodomy, debauchery, and extreme neglect of personal hygine.In the last five years, those affected by the hypnotizing spores have began to organize under a hive mind, with one goal in mind - to conquer! They seek to enslave our women, our children, our brains! Beware their legions, reader: willing slaves to the whims of the mushroom men! The great horde threatens us all, marching under the banners of the leper and the tentacle, seeking only to consume and spoil.  upper level: Reuben - drums Ben - guitar lower level: Dan - guitar Max - bass/vocals 
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